Pattern of Feathers
by Hota
Summary: Sam, Dean, and Cas have been through a lot together. Now that things have settled down and they are no longer faced with a choice between their lives or the world, maybe they can start to put their lives back together again. A canon-based set of shorts / one-shots that all share a common plot without being a true chapter'd work.
1. Just Go With It

This is a Destiel-centric work.

Ch summary: _Sam recognizes when Dean realizes he can't live without Cas._

* * *

 **Just Go With It**

Sam knew when Dean finally realized he couldn't live without Castiel. There'd been nearly a month of considering looks, vague questions that never quite led up to anything. But then there came a day he and Dean had been sitting in the bunker and Cas had come down the stairs, looking worn with bloodstains on his shirt. He had an odd way of finding trouble when he went out alone these days and had a tendency to lose contact with them for up to a week at a time.

"Cas, where ha-" Sam started, but Dean was already on his feet and halfway to the angel, meeting him at the bottom of the stairs.

"Cas, what happened?"

Cas looked up at Dean, then down at himself. "Demons. I guess Crowley is still upset."

Dean muttered a curse and pulled Cas into a tight embrace, slapping his back several times. "Good to have you back, man."

"Dean?" Cas hesitated before returning the embrace, looking over Dean's shoulder to Sam for help.

Sam couldn't help but smile and shrug, mouthing 'Just go with it.'

Dean pulled back, clasping Cas' shoulders and looking him over before returning to the table. He sat and kicked out the chair next to him, waiting for Cas to take the seat before returning his attention to the possible case in Colorado they'd been discussing. He didn't seem to notice the way he was leaning toward Cas, or the way over the next twenty minutes of research and conversation he gravitated close enough they were all but touching.

Sam looked between the two of them, amused at the confused but curious look on Cas' face. "Why don't you two take this one?"

Dean looked up from the books in front of him. "What?"

Cas fixed Sam with a wary look. "What?"

Sam fought the urge to laugh and leaned back in his chair. "Seriously. It sounds like a typical ghost hunt. And I'm getting sick of the place smelling like burgers every day."

"Oh and tofu is any better?" Dean made a disgusted face. "That crap smells worse coming back out."

Sam rolled his eyes and closed his laptop. "You two can handle it. I'll stay here. Track down more leads." Anything to stay busy.

Dean glanced to Cas who shrugged before looking back to Sam. "Yeah, sure, okay." He stood and closed the books. "I'll get my bag and we'll head out."

Cas waited for Dean to leave before leaning forward, resting his arms on the table. "He is... different."

Sam smiled a bit and scratched at the back of his head. "What do you mean? He seems fine." He returned the narrowed-eyed look the angel gave him with a shrug. "Maybe he's just learning to live a little." God he hoped so. If any of them deserved it, it was Dean. The weight they each carried on their shoulders was enough to crush ten men. Dean bore it without complaint, kept it all bottled in, they all did, but Dean was worse somehow. Sometimes he wondered if Dean even knew how to hope, if he had a reason for continuing the fight other than it was the only life he'd ever known.

"Cas... Do you... love my brother?"

"Of cour-"

Sam shook his head and leaned forward to mimic Cas' posture. "No, I don't mean like angels or God are supposed to love humans. I mean..." He trailed off, glancing towards the hallway leading to their rooms, not quite able to ask. It seemed too risky, saying something like that out loud.

"I know what you meant, Sam," Cas said, voice quiet but firm. "And the answer is still yes. Though why do you ask?"

Sam looked back to Cas with a hint of a grin. "Just making sure. Enjoy your trip," he said as he heard Dean heading back down the hall.

They said their goodbyes and he waved them both off, sitting in the quiet of the bunker and praying he was right. It would make it easier, the next time he faced death. Not that he planned on dying anytime soon, but... there was always that possibility. He just wanted Dean to be able to live for someone rather than only having someone he'd die for.


	2. Say My Name

Dean lounged on his bed with a case of beer on the nightstand, flipping through a lore book he'd found on foreign mythological creatures. They were a rare occurrence in their line of work, but all the knowledge they could get their hands on meant a greater chance of survival. And without Bobby around, the bunker's libraries were their first stop for information most days. The foreign lore was always interesting at least, less about chopping heads or stabbing with silver and more burning with consecrated fires, or following complex rituals that apparently stripped the powers from whatever it was being hunted.

He glanced up as his door opened, instantly distracted by the sight of Cas fresh from the shower, - not that he needed showers - his hair still damp, water dripping off the strands and onto one of Dean's shirts. His eyes wandered as he closed the book, noting Cas was wearing a pair of his sweats, too. The new ones he'd bought because they were soft as fuck and if he wasn't sleeping in his jeans, he was sure as hell going to be comfortable.

Cas set his folded clothes on the desk before turning to the bed, pausing as he caught Dean's eye. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Dean cleared his throat, taking a drink of his beer and pushing the book aside. He tried to look away, but his eyes had a mind of their own and wouldn't be denied the hot-as-fuck sight of Cas in his clothes for more than a few moments.

Cas didn't look convinced, but he didn't say anything more, glancing at the bed and lingering near the desk.

Dean knew that look, the uncertain 'I don't know what to do' look. It had annoyed him more times than he could count, but this time was different. He set his empty bottle aside and grabbed a fresh one, holding it out to Cas. When he'd taken it, he curled his fingers around Cas' wrist and looked up at him. "You sure about this?" he asked, voice quiet, and maybe he was just a bit uncertain himself.

Cas glanced from the bottle to the fingers then up at Dean with a tilt of his head. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

Dean snorted and let his head rest against the edge of the shelf behind his bed. "I'm the one who suggested this." He still had doubts this was a smart thing to do, but, fantasies aside, if there was any male he trusted enough to actually have sex with, it was Cas.

Cas set the beer aside without opening it and climbed onto the bed, settling on his knees between Dean's legs and leaning forward, resting his hands near Dean's hips. " _Are_ you sure about this, Dean?"

"Yeah." Dean cleared his throat again and tried once more, without the hitch in his voice. "Yeah, I'm sure." He wasn't, but he was sure enough he wasn't going to call it off. Not when he'd been thinking about this since Sam had sent them off alone on that one hunt and they'd ended up sharing a bed. Nothing had happened; they'd talked and tiptoed around subjects better left untouched before he slept and woke to find Cas had quite literally watched him sleep the entire time.

His fingers slid up Cas' arm, eyes straying to the angel's lips before closing the distance between them. Cas' lips were chapped and rough, but they parted easily when he nudged his tongue against them. He delved past them, groaning in the back of his throat as Cas returned the kiss with enthusiasm. Nerves bunched in his stomach as it sank in he was really doing this, after years of going only after women because being with a man meant the possibility of being vulnerable or exploited, of being less of a man or less of the soldier his father had raised him to be.

But this was Cas. He trusted him, even after all they'd been through - the doubts and betrayals and sheer fuckups. They were family. If he and Sam could get over all the shit between them, he and Cas could, too, because only family would do that for each other.

 ** _Due to NC17 rating, the rest can be read here_**


	3. Say Yes

Sam had gotten used to being the only one awake before 8 AM when they were in the bunker. Dean tended to sleep in, or pretend to, unless he'd been up drinking all night, in which case he'd be sitting at the table when Sam got up for his run. The past few weeks had seen far less of that and more of Dean getting up in time for an early lunch.

He glanced up as he heard the footsteps of the one responsible for Dean sleeping better. "Morning, Cas." He turned back to his omelette making though glanced back at the angel to make sure he wasn't seeing things. "Does Dean know you're wearing his robe?" he asked, amusement lacing his voice before he grimaced. "Oh God, please tell me you're at least wearing underwear beneath it…"

Cas looked at the robe that was tied around him and hesitated. "I'm supposed to say yes, right?"

Sam sighed and looked away before he accidentally saw anything. "Yes, Cas, say yes. Even if it's not true."

"Then… yes…"

Sam shook his head and glanced back over as Cas poured a cup of coffee. "Since when do you drink coffee?"

"I don't."

Sam raised an eyebrow, watching Cas rummage through the fridge. "You're serving him breakfast in bed?"

Cas looked up as he pulled out a pizza box. "Should I not?" He opened it and sniffed at the pizza. "Is this still edible?"

Sam laughed and flipped his omelette. "Does it have mold growing on it?"

"I think so."

"Then no." It was tempting to say yes, but even he wouldn't prank his brother with bad food. Healthy food, maybe. He looked over as Cas stood there a moment before putting the box back in the fridge, rolling his eyes upwards before letting his head thud against the cabinet over the stove, reminding himself that Cas didn't know better. Dean sure as hell knew better, and that pizza should have been thrown away days ago, but Cas… needed a guiding hand or else he'd be living with two jerks who couldn't clean up after themselves. "Spoiled food goes into the garbage, Cas."

"Right." Cas retrieved the pizza again and dumped it into the trash. "Is there anything else he'd eat?"

"You can take him an omelette." Sam flipped it again before grabbing a plate to slide it onto, holding it out to Cas.

Cas stared at it a long moment before looking up at Sam. "I don't think he'll eat that."

"Why, because it's healthy? If he's hungry enough he will."

Cas tilted his head with a smile tugging at his lips. "Because he said the ones you make are poison."

Sam rolled his eyes and turned off the stove. "Then I guess he's gonna starve." Make an omelette with a spoiled egg once and suddenly everything is poison. Jerk. He grabbed a fork and settled at the table to eat, glancing up when Cas still hovered in the kitchen. "He'll be fine until lunch, Cas."

"No, that's not…" Cas sighed and sat at the table across from him, clasping his hands in front of him. "Are you alright, Sam?"

"What? Yeah, I'm fine." Cas stared at him a long moment, until it was hard to keep from fidgeting in his seat. "Why?"

Cas lowered his eyes to his hands, rubbing his thumbs together. "I worry… you don't like how things have changed, between Dean and I."

Sam almost choked and set his fork down, taking a long drink of his juice. "What? No way, man. I'm happy for you guys, really." It was just hard to realize it was something he'd likely never find himself. It wasn't like there was anyone else out there, angel or otherwise, willing to sacrifice everything for them time and time again. No one else they could call family. "It just… makes me miss Jess," he said, voice barely above a whisper.

He didn't mean to say that, he hadn't meant to even think it. It'd been ten years, but seeing Dean… relaxed and more like he'd been all those years ago reminded him he'd had that once, too. Brief and fleeting, but it had been amazing and comforting and real.

"Jess is…"

Sam stared at his omelette, no longer hungry and feeling a bit sick. "The girl I was going to marry."

"Jessica Moore," Cas said quietly, tilting his head with a distant look in his eyes. "She has a nice heaven, Sam. It's full of memories of you."

Sam sucked in a breath and felt like he'd been punched in the gut, reaching up and digging his fingers into his stinging eyes. "Thanks, Cas." He didn't move for a long moment, forcing his breathing to stay even and steady. When Cas finally stood and dropped a hand on his shoulder, he patted it with his own.

"I don't believe you'll be alone forever, Sam."

Sam laughed, latching onto anything to distract him from the burning ache in his chest. "You don't have to worry about me, Cas. I'm fine."

Cas hesitated, squeezing his shoulder with a nod before picking up the cup of coffee and returning to Dean's room.

Sam took a shuddering breath once he was alone and picked up his plate, dumping the omelette in the trash before heading for another run to clear his head. And if he took a detour and just sat in silence under a tree for a few hours, no one would be the wiser.


	4. Enochian

Dean glanced down at the top of Cas' head where it rested on his chest and started to think Cas didn't quite understand the point in watching movies. What had been a casual arrangement between the three of them had ended up with Dean stretched out on the sofa and Cas on his stomach on top of him, their legs tangled together. Sam hadn't commented on it, though he'd left in the middle of the second movie to get food and hadn't come back yet.

He still wasn't sure when exactly Cas had tossed his shirt aside, but he wasn't complaining. Cas seemed far more comfortable in his skin these days, more relaxed. Hell, Dean even felt more relaxed, and it wasn't just the fact he was getting laid on a somewhat regular basis. He'd lost Sam and Cas more times than he could count, but now they were all there, together, as safe as they realistically could expect to be until the next hunt or global threat. He wasn't used to it, to not feeling… empty inside, and it terrified the shit out of him, but he knew better after all these years than to take it for granted, to let it slip through his fingers.

"Cas." He knew Cas wasn't asleep, but he'd learned that Cas had a tendency to slip into a trance-like state when he was relaxed, as close to sleeping as angels apparently got.

"Mmm?" Cas didn't stir in the least, only exhaled against Dean's chest.

Dean switched his beer to his left hand and ran the fingers of his right through Cas' hair, enjoying the feel of Cas' low hum vibrating against his stomach. His fingers strayed further down, sliding along the dip of Cas' spine, down to the top of his ass where his pants started. He curled his fingers and dragged his nails on the way back up.

Cas arched like a cat and gasped, fingers gripping at Dean's shirt as he let out a deep, throaty moan.

He felt more than heard an underlying ringing and smirked as he did it again, pressing his nails in deeper into the flesh, watching the skin prickle in their wake. The ringing went up a notch, barely audible, but he felt the way it thrummed around his beer bottle, not quite enough to shatter it, but close. He smoothed his hand back down, sliding his thumb along Cas' ribs. "What are you saying?"

Cas blinked his eyes open and tilted his head enough to glance at Dean with a questioning look.

"The ringing. It's Enochian, right?"

"Yes."

"What are you saying?" Dean slid his hand up, enjoying the scratchy feel of Cas' jaw and cheek on his fingertips.

Cas glanced away, shifting and starting to push himself up.

Dean blinked and gritted his teeth against the flicker of anger, shoving it down and burying it. They both had their boundaries, subjects they didn't want to talk about, but it didn't stop them from poking and prodding every once in a while. But this? "You cursing me out or something?" he asked, forcing his tone to be light and draining the rest of his beer.

Cas hesitated, looking up from trying to sort his legs out without kneeing Dean anywhere sensitive. "No."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Is it some top-secret angel mumbo-jumbo then?" he asked, the anger fading completely to be replaced with curiosity that burned all the brighter when he realized Cas was… embarrassed. He leaned forward with the briefest of smirks before catching Cas' eye, hovering an inch away from him like the angel was wont to do at times and parted his lips. "Castiel."

Cas focused entirely on Dean with an intense look in his blue eyes. "Dean."

Dean pressed closer, lips ghosting against Cas' as he spoke. "Tell me what you're saying?"

"Nothing." Cas tilted his head, looking anywhere but at Dean.

"Then why do I hear ringing when I do this?" Dean kept his lips close to Cas' as he reached around to drag his nails up the angel's spine again.

Cas groaned and arched his back, head tipping back and exposing his throat as the ringing returned and the bottle in Dean's other hand shattered.

Dean glanced at the glass and dropped the remaining piece to the floor with the rest of it, burying his freed hand in Cas' hair and biting at his throat. "You call that nothing? Don't tell me it was just a scream?"

Cas flinched and leaned back.

Dean gaped up at him. "Really?" He couldn't help the touch of a grin as he tightened his hold on Cas, refusing to let him pull away. He wanted to make a joke about making Cas scream in Enochian, but he held his tongue, shifting to push Cas down and trap him between the back of the sofa and his own body, shoving his leg between Cas' and pressing his thigh into the angel's groin. "Is that a bad thing?" he asked instead.

Cas shifted, fisting his hands in Dean's shirt and staring at his chest. "Angels do not… scream like that."

"How would you know?" Dean raised an eyebrow, tugging Cas' pants open and pushing them down. "I thought you never had sex with another angel?"

Cas frowned and relaxed a bit after a moment. "I haven't."

 ** _Due to NC17 rating, you can read the rest here_**


End file.
